Too much, not enough: rewriting Goldilocks

I'm too much.  I'm not enough.  The phrases echoed in numerous conversations with women. On occasion, I felt and said those words throughout my life and they never served me well.  Eventually, I heard so many stories that patterns emerged.  The words stuck to me.  Too much, not enough, too much, not enough.  When I strung the words together they were familiar but incomplete.  Then the last piece of the puzzle dropped into place.  The stories I heard were missing the perfect ending, "Just right".

Women around me were framing their lives and story as a version of Goldilocks and the Three Bears but they were on rewind without the ability to get to the last part acknowledging they were just right.  Not perfect, not without fault, not without need for more growth, but definitely just right for the here and now.  I went back to the Goldilocks story.

The History of Goldilocks Story began in the early 1800's.  The various iterations portrayed Goldilocks as an old woman, a witch, a churlish child, and a fox. There were as many different Goldilocks as there were endings to the story in the two hundred years since it first began to be told to children.  In some versions Goldilocks was tossed out of the house.  In others she ran screaming never to return, and in a handful she was the overbearing hero who broke into the house, fixed the messy bears abode and taught them to care for themselves and their property.

The version I remember hearing as a child ended with the three bears coming home and surprising Goldilocks, who was sleeping in the bed that felt just right.  She woke up afraid and ran from the house.  Poor girl never got to relish the just right.  Fear made her run. I know it's just a fairy tale and it has historic context, but stories and words shape us without us even realizing it.  Humans absorb stories.  Stories permeate our conscious and subconscious showing up in our conversations and our actions. It's how we are wired.  So, what if we rewrote the Goldilocks story for our little people?  What if it sounded like this -

Goldilocks was an adventurous, happy girl.  She loved to wander through the forest making new friends and exploring.  One day, as she was skipping through the forest singing with the birds, she found a bears' den.  She had never seen a bears' den before.  Her Poppa had told her about the bears and how they lived in cave-like shelters.  And, Nana said bears were like people.  Some were friendly, some were grumpy, and some would just ignore you.  She said it didn't matter what kind of bear you met in the forest as long as you were your best self and kept your wits about you.

I'm going to leave the fairy tale with you and ask for your ideas of how to reframe the Goldilocks tale.  If you were telling a reframed Goldilocks tale to the women in your life, young and old, what would you want them to remember?  I'd want you to remember you are all just right, created perfectly for your own life adventure.   Keep your wits about you and stop playing the not enough, too much nonsense in your head.  When the words start to rise in your throat or seep into your thoughts, stop them.  Remind yourself my dear, beautiful Goldilocks, you are just right - now go live the adventure that is only yours to live.

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  1. I always loved this fairy tale, but honestly I can not remember how it finished. In my memory they all ate their porridge nicely together, the bears and the little girl, who is called Goudlokje in Dutch. And for our children we had a nice pop up book, so I'll ask my girls what they remember!


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