Completed or Finished

How do you feel, completed or finished?  Don't think about it too hard, just pick one before you read another word.  There is a story behind the question.  The story started in Ephesus last summer when our tour guide, Emre, was leading us through the ruins and the phrase lodged itself in my word memories refusing to be forgotten.

As Emre told us the history of the place, guiding us along the path past the other multitudes of tourists to the prime viewing spots, he also shared bits of his own story.  He was about thirty give or take a few years, and his family had lived a couple of hours north of Kusadasi for generations.  His command of the English language was at least as good as ours if not better.  He was a bright young man who was newly and happily married and that's where the story truly begins.  Emre's uncle had a favourite question that he posed to his nieces and nephews about the individual they were attracted to.  He would ask, "Do they complete you or do they finish you?"

Being complete is good, being finished is bad.  Emre told us that his wife completes him and it was  obvious by the joy in his face that he was sharing his truth.  It struck me in that moment, Emre had crossed over from being a professional tour guide to allowing us a glimpse of who he really was and what he truly valued, and that went beyond being in a relationship to how he lived his whole life.

February 2012 Under Construction
Several times recently, people have asked me if the house is finished and the question reminded me of the completed or finished paradox.  I stuttered around the response because technically it isn't finished at least according to the tax assessor's office because the stone is still not on the exterior.  But it is complete otherwise, fully complete.  Last year the kitchen was under construction, this year I have crocuses and other assorted spring bulbs blooming on the counter.  Our home is warm, comfortable, inviting, everything we wanted it to be and the stone is here awaiting installation as soon as the seasons change.

My tendency is to muddle words around in my head, thinking about all the different ways and places they might apply, looking for patterns in life.  I really like the completed or finished question because I think it is largely a question of how we live.  It is mostly about our perspective, how we see and experience everything.  My hope is that you are completed this week in everything you do and in everyone you meet.